With all our culture’s emphasis on the notion that “bigger is better,” it’s easy to get curious about jumbo-sized insertables. Size certainly isn’t the be-all and end-all of pleasure when it comes to penetration, but there is no denying that it is intense – which some people love, and some people, not so much.
Whether you want to expand your holes’ size horizons to accommodate a well-endowed partner in your life, to master a massive dildo like the New York Toy Collective Leroy, or just to earn bragging rights, there are some principles you should keep in mind when trying to take something bigger than you’re used to. Here are a few tips…
Use lube. Lube should be a bedside staple for just about everyone, but especially for people who prefer big insertables. It’s a go-to solution when you encounter any problem while being penetrated: Feeling uncomfortable? Add more lube. Can’t quite accommodate the size you’re aiming for? Add more lube. Getting chafed from friction? Add more lube. You get the idea!
Water-based lubes are safe to use with both silicone toys and latex barriers. For large penetration especially, it’s best to use a thicker, gel-like formula, and reapply as needed.
Go slow. Penetration should not hurt. If it does, you are either moving too quickly or not using enough lube – or both!
Fingers are basically the original sex toys. They are perfect for expanding the size of penetration you can take, because you can start with one and work your way up through two, three, and four (or the whole fist if you’re really ambitious). Latex or nitrile gloves help smooth out
the texture of skin and nails, which makes penetration easier and more comfortable.
Do your best to breathe deeply and slowly while relaxing into larger penetration – there’s a reason why pregnant people are taught breathing techniques to help them during delivery! Focus on relaxing your PC muscles (the ones you flex when doing Kegel exercises or trying to pause a stream of urine – and yes, everyone has them!). Sometimes it’s easier to consciously relax them if you squeeze them a little first.
Incorporate other pleasurable things. It’s a lot easier to take something big inside you if you’re enjoying other things that turn you on at the same time – for example, genital stimulation elsewhere, nipple stimulation, or even a partner muttering soothing or stern things in your ear. Whatever reliably gets you hot, incorporate that – it’ll make everything go more smoothly.
When approaching any new sexual activity, it’s vital to take a pleasure-oriented approach rather than a goal-oriented one. If you focus only on the goal you want to achieve – the box you want to check on a figurative or literal to-do list – you risk stressing yourself out or putting too much pressure on your partner(s). If you focus, instead, on the pleasurable sensations you’re feeling and the fun you’re having, you’ll have a good time whether or not you “succeed” at what you set out to do. It’s true what they say: the journey is often more meaningful and joyful than the destination!